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Capricorn Use common sense this week when adopting a hunchback to do your bidding.

Sure, you should find one that will happily call you “Master” and lurch out into the night with a burlap sack and shovel to collect specimens for your unholy experiments.

But, also consider one who can roast a brisket or take the kids to soccer when you need a day to yourself.

Aquarius Boy, oh boy, do I love Cheez-Its!

Pisces The old woman in the apartment downstairs will report to your landlord that you have a dog in the apartment.

Little does she know that the clacking on your hardwood floors actually comes from your toenails.

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